Take my hand off to never - never land

The simpler days of a marriage where I did not have a care in the world of some ugly bitch trying to steal my man or having a man with baggage, were wonderful memories to place myself in. My handsome husband, such a hard worker and respected by all, was a great gift from God.  So responsible, I would get turned on when he came home from working as an electrician and go straight to his study to attend to the church matters. Returning telephone messages or reading his bible to prepare for his next serman, just excited me.  I would often question his sexuality because of his lack of expression towards arousal. It baffled me how I, a lady, would respond to sexually explicit scenarios but the deacon would not.  Anyone can be raised to view a subject in a certain manner, however, we are all human. I guess the deacon just truly devoted himself to God and the thought of using sexual pleasure for anything other than to procreate was instilled in him.  I highly enjoyed our evenings walking hand in hand through town stealing kisses and just simply enjoying each others company. I will never forget our game nights with Father Joplin and Jerri Lynn, God rest her soul.  Glasses of wine was a in normal attendance.  Cigars were fine.  'Hell' or 'damn' were permitted.  The pushing of the envelope to an inappropriate joke was  not frowned upon but I'll be damned if 'sex' wasn't treated as a sin.  I wore pretty underwear and had an account with Victoria Secret but that did not change the opinion of the perfect example of a Catholic the deacon was. "Honey, do you think the next time you shop you can conceal the bright pink bags from the neighbors? I just don't want to get the tongues wagging with rumors that we are sexual predators." My handsome husband nonchalantly asked/commanded one day.  I just smiled as my face turned beat red. I felt dirty all the sudden as if I should feel shame.
Dumb was the feeling that came to mind for enjoying feeling sexy in those garments.  It was after that day I stopped shopping at my favorite store.  My underwear came from Wally World for now on and I wished the deacon noticed the change of color our bed now held. But his objections never came and that was the only thing I had a complaint about the entirety of our matrimony.  

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